For those of us here in the US, this past Monday was Labor Day. I know that not every country celebrates Labor Day, but a lot of other countries also have random national holidays here and there so hopefully sometime recently or coming up you’ve got a long weekend to celebrate! While enjoying the long Labor Day weekend (having had Monday off), I continued some reflecting on the importance of taking relaxation seriously. Pre-COVID, Mrs. Money and I loved to travel and probably by this point would have taken one big international trip (Barcelona was the plan) and then a few domestic trips (beach and Chicago). With COVID like many of you, we’ve been relatively sheltering-in-place and have only taken a few small trips to the lake (where our relatives have a house) and one beach trip to Hilton Head, SC. Similar to that beach trip in which I put together some reflections after resting I also have been reflecting on the importance of relaxation. 

COVID feels like the whole world just hit ‘pause’ for a few months and forced (or allowed) us to think carefully about how we spend our time and money. I remember having thoughts prior to COVID about how unsustainable our lifestyles felt, feeling like we were just always running late to one activity or errand or chore. Mrs. Money and I have been rethinking how we live our lives and even if/when things get ‘back to normal’, I’m hopeful we’ll continue some of the new habits and changes we’ve made in our lives during COVID. I’d love to share some of my thoughts on the importance of relaxing and how you can do it better. 

Why it’s so important

Life pre-COVID, and even life during COVID can often feel like it’s being lived in fast forward. Although having a spouse and a kid can accelerate this feeling, I even remember feeling this way when it was just Mrs. Money and I. There’s always so much going on in our lives and we would wear ourselves out trying to ‘live life to the fullest’. I’ve learned now that a great life isn’t measured in the quantity of things you’ve accumulated or done, more so the quality of the things. Looking back over my young professional life, I don’t so much remember the dinners out, the birthday parties, the movies or the hangs, more as I remember quality, special events shared with family and friends. 

I don’t think that living life at 110% is very sustainable and I don’t particularly think that living your life at 50 weeks full speed with 2 weeks of vacation is very sustainable either. In order to have a long, quality life, we need to learn to relax better! This relaxing isn’t something done twice a year on vacation, it should be a weekly, or even daily habit!

Why we don’t do it well

I hate to share the feeling that I’m ‘getting old’ but slowing down during COVID has helped me realize that I was living life too fast. We’d do things because we were invited and felt we should attend, we’d do things because we just felt that’s how you lived your life and was what everyone else was doing, or just did things to do them and ‘stay social’. Looking back, weekends weren’t particularly relaxing or recharging, and each Monday I’d start the week off pretty exhausted. 

I really think our generation (young professionals) and maybe society as a whole doesn’t do a good job of relaxing. Weekends are always full of social events and errands, weeknights are full of all the things that we need to do to stay productive, and vacations are often full steam ahead with activities and sightseeing. We aren’t very good at hitting ‘pause’ and focusing on doing activities that are life giving and help recharge our batteries. Rest time shouldn’t look like sitting around doing nothing nor should it look like a whole bunch of ‘fun’ activities either. 

How we can do it better 

Firstly, I think it’s important to call out and understand that relaxation is important (hopefully the last 2 sections have helped). Next you need to figure out what recharges your batteries and helps you relax. Is it a beach somewhere reading a book? What about the mountains, or going on a hike? On a day to day basis, is it binging Netflix (I’d argue no), or sitting outside on your porch watching the sunset? What about calling family or an old friend, or hanging out on a deck with a few friends enjoying a beverage? Maybe it’s reading a book or just winding down quietly with music? What for you leaves you feeling recharged vs feeling drained? 

A few practical tips, that I realize are more my opinion and might not work for you but I thought are worth sharing. On a nightly basis, find something other to do than watch Netflix or other streaming services. I know it’s so easy to spend a few hours binging through Parks and Rec but consider how you feel afterwards. I often feel a bit numb and not very relaxed. I feel sometimes as if it’s just helping me go through the motions and it allows me to shut my brain off. Shutting your brain off isn’t really relaxing. Mrs. Money and I do watch an episode or two and then try to make time to read. Whether it’s a book or a magazine, I find that some reading helps me relax. I also try (with mixed success) not to have my phone in bed or in the bedroom, and we don’t have a TV in the bedroom. I find that screen time only continues the numbness or constant screen cycle of news, social media, updates or things for my mind to worry about. One new thing I’ve tried to adopt is to not check the news during the weekend. I don’t have a lot of social media accounts and would fill my scrolling time with the news, which wasn’t the most encouraging or uplifting part of my day!

Also, don’t assume that doing nothing is a bad thing. Over Labor Day I had some down time in between family chores and thought that I’d start this post. However I decided not to because that was not what I needed to do to relax at that moment in time, and instead watched a baseball game instead. Stop the scroll, stop the cycling through checking things constantly and let your mind and body relax!

Summary

Relaxation is so important in our ever busy world. Relaxing it actually not the absence of doing anything, it’s an active exercise in doing things or spending time in a way that recharges and rejuvenates us! Start thinking about relaxing in a different way and I believe it’ll help you lead a better life!